A Gift That I Want

This year I had a theme to what I wanted for the holidays. I wanted art supplies like alcohol markers that are great for blending, colored pencils that also blend very well, fine tipped markers and pens, sketch pads, and other art stuff that isn't Crayola. One thing that stand's put the most to me though is the two modeling dolls. Poses are my weak point when drawing and taking pictures of myself in the mirror for a pose is hard. Looking up poses on google can also be pretty tricky since they may not have the perfect pose. I asked for two so I can do things like "Draw your OTP" bases or "Draw your squad" things. I also think it would be helpful for drawing other stuff. And by other stuff, I mean the moves from the last five minutes of the most recent episode of Yuri On Ice. I know you're probably wondering why this stands out to me. It's because I feel like it will help me a lot. I know using old Monster High Dolls would be a good and cheap replacement but the hair gets in the way and I only have female dolls with unrealistic body shapes while most modeling dolls are more body neutral. The hair also gets in the way and I'm not going to cut it off since I want to donate them to little kids. These dolls will also be useful when I can't use my laptop or just too lazy to reach down and take it from my drawer. I can take some fabric and pin it to the doll so I can get a better reference for the shading and creases in clothing. So these dolls would be very useful. So yeah, poses are important to me and I want to improve them before I improve my coloring skills. I am also very fond of sketches. AND ANOTHER THING! I am creating a whole story and stuff for some OC's so if I want to make the drawing look cool, I have to be able to draw them in cool poses.

My Voice

So I wanted to make a post about something about me that I just HATE! As you saw form my last post, I have rhotacism speech impediment. So it's when a person has difficulty or just can't pronounce their r sounds. That guy that everyone hates from The Big Bang Theory has the same thing as you can tell. He cannot pronounce his r's at all. I'm lucky because it's only a little difficult for me to pronounce them. I have been taking speech classes for about eight years now so I've improved but sadly I will always sound like a little kid. This does bother me a lot to the point where I try to not talk at all but my friends say I sound fine and no one ever really comments about it so I'm starting to get more confident about my voice. I just wanted to write this because I feel like it's just a quick little educational thing you should learn about me just in case so you wont assume that I only like to talk like a baby.

To lighten the mood, I have a funny story to add. Last year, my twin broke her arm after some parkour fails. Her arm was clearly broken so I had to call 911. The operator thought I was a little boy named Joey because my voice is kinda deep too. People would think that I was offended but I was actually laughing with my friends after meli was at the hospital and I was at my friend's house.

What My Name Means

So as you know, my name is Zoey. My mom though some relative's name was super cool so she named me Zoey. I also like to say that I was named after one of my parent's family pet since they were also named Zoey. My name means life so fear me peasants. I may not a be god but without me, you wouldn't be here reading this masterpiece haha jk. I always love having my name because of a few reasons. 1. It's a short name so it's great since I'm lazy; 2. My name does not interfere with my rhotacism speech impediment (I have trouble pronouncing the 'R' sound); 3. It is kinda unique because most people spell Zoey without the Y. It is a pain if I want to find those ornaments or key-chains with my name on it, though I did find an ornament that said Zoey so yeah, coolio. Another problem is that subs will pronounce my name as if they're saying Zoo-a-e.

If I could change my name, I would change it to Fauna. When I was a dweeb and had a membership on Animal Jam, I did the random name thing and I got Fauna The Wolf. I have been obsessed with that name but now I'm not so big on it. I still love that name and I have a wolf stuffed animal named Fauna. Fauna is a fancy word for Animal. I love animals so it fits. Now I'm called Neo on social media because I used to roleplay as Neophyte Redglare. I wouldn't want to change my name to Neo but it's a cool nickname that I got.

I would also like to be called Tyrone. Gravity Falls reference

My Favorite Songs

So I wanted to write about my favorite songs. I'm going to write about my top five favorite songs. They are House Of Gold by Twenty One Pilots, Edge Of Tonight by All Time Low, Burn from the musical Hamilton, Holding onto You by Twenty One Pilots, and Marry You by Bruno Mars. All of these songs are pretty important to me in their own special way.

Ever since I heard House Of Gold, I was in love. The music is just so up beat and happy. The ukulele and the drums are so amazing. This song doesn't really impact my life but it makes me feel so warm inside. This is a song that if I'm caught skipping, you better find me help right away because this song is just so amazing to me. I have great memories with this song too. at my friend's 14th birthday, we were singing Melanie Martinez and Twenty One Pilots songs while we waited for everyone to show up. We were goofing around so I sang "When your father turned to cabbages, will you take care of that dog" and "When I grow old, will you buy me a house of cheese". We couldn't stop laughing, Especially my friend because as I sang those words, Mr. B (our Taekwondo instructor) walked in to make sure no one was dead.

Edge Of Tonight is one of those songs that you listen to at night when you're laying in your bed thinking you're a mistake. The song is about being far away from home and the only thing you know is that there's the one person/thing at home waiting. This relates to be so much because I always feel like I'm so far away from home, my first place medal from a class C tournament. That medal means so much to me. I will have it buried with me when I die. I feel so distant from everyone and everything but this song makes me feel like I'm here at home because I am.

I have trouble with letting go and Burn is about Eliza letting go of her love for Alexander after he cheated on her with Miss Reynolds. It took me so long to recover from losing my favorite uncle and it's starting to come back but I'm not letting it. I also just love the lyrics and how it sounds. The piano is so beautiful and you can just feel Eliza's pain and agony as she's burning those letters. You can feel the rage. It's just so beautiful. I also have a sad memory that I laugh about because once a guy told me who the guy that I liked who he liked and of course it wasn't me. After that, I put my playlist on shuffle and guess what came on? Burn. It's sad but I still laugh about it.

Oh boy, we're getting pretty deep here so hold on. Holding Onto You has always been a song that I connected to. People say that the song has a different meaning for everyone. To me, this song shows how I keep holding on to the bad stuff in my life. I let these bad memories hold me down. I know I'm getting kind of personal here by saying that I really hate myself and see myself as a mistake but it's true. I have gotten to the point were I believe everyone hates me just because I let these bad memories and thoughts hold me down. I have gotten to the point where I can't ask for help on a lot of things because I'm scared they'll judge me on how I will always mess up. So this song connects with me so I can come to my senses and think, "This isn't true. I'm not a horrible person who always screws up.", even though these thoughts will probably come back a day later.

My all time favorite song is Marry You by Bruno Mars. It has been a childhood favorite and it always brings a smile to my face because it reminds me of the times where my life wasn't so messed up. When I was little, Melissa would go to Gymnastics class. It was about an hour long so my dad drove me to the Dunkin Donuts to get hot cocoa and Boston Cream donuts. We would be sitting in the car and Marry You would always come on around the same time. Whenever I hear this song now, I feel so happy and warm inside. I have also dreamed of being proposed to with this song playing. I never cared for how my significant other proposed to me. As long as they play Marry You, I would be 1,000,000,000,000,000,000% satisfied and I'm NEVER satisfied.

So yeah, these are my top five favorite songs. I hope you enjoyed reading this. Down below are the links to the five songs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtVftrBp70Q  -House Of Gold

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBh6oV8QYpQ  -Edge of Tonight

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CFOuGqBSEE  -Burn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WrfpA6aH4o  -Holding onto You

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5t3yWYmj5yk  -Marry You

My Second Family

So while I was in the shower, I was reflecting on my trashy life and thought, "Hey, how about I talk about how I have a second family?". So yeah, I have a second family and it's pretty cool. I sometimes feel like my second family is better than my actual family but that's only when I'm having a REALLY bad day.

As you all know, I'm in Taekwondo and I go to ATA American Taekwondo Association. ATA is kinda like a chain business except each school is ran differently. We all just have to learn the same things and be apart of all the things going on at ATA like the spring camp or tournaments. We are also one big family. Everyone in my TKD school are my siblings and my Instructors are my parents. Their instructors are my grandparents and so on. Other instructors are my aunts/ uncles and everyone from other schools are my cousins. I am a 4th or 5th generation. Our ranks also do not define us so we all are equal. So yeah, that's how I see it.

I always see tournaments as family reunions because I see all of my friends from far away. At tournaments, you're competing so you're enemies in the ring but best friends out of the ring. Girl even have this unwritten rule to hug before and after a sparring match. When we spar, we make sure we didn't hurt each other and when we drop a weapon, we cheer them on. When I went into the Black Belt ring or the first time, I was petrified. I dropped my weapon about five times and when I finished, they told me that I did great. We look out for each other.

At my school in Glenview, we are so close. I have a friend who is my best friend but my rival in the ring. It's so much fun. Some of us don't get along but it's more like a sibling hatred than an actual hatred. I'm like the big sis because I am the one who usually makes sure the younger ones behave when we're all working on our forms.

I really recommend taking classes at ATA. We all are there for each other when we fall and we make each other feel like a true family. It's ok if you feel like you will not do well because I'm a first degree black belt but I know brown belts who are more advanced than me. Taekwondo is about perseverance, discipline, goals, respect, courtesy, and confidence. As long as you remember those five things, you're good. A black belt is a white belt who never gave up. So yeah, we're there for each other. I would love to see some faces from school join ATA. I have learned so much from going to ATA so you all should totally join. Remember, Confidence, yes I can.    

Another Quote that I Love

"Look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now" This quote means so much to me. Sometimes I feel like I'm misplaced in the world and useless but when I hear those words in 'That would be enough', I feel like a new door of possibilities has opened up for me. We are lucky to be alive right now.

Not only are we alive at the same time as Lin-Manuel Miranda and Memes, we can do so much, all of us. It's kinda funny because this was from a musical that's based on Alexander Hamilton so unless you were a white male not meant to sound racist, you couldn't do much in America, but now anyone can do anything except fly away from responsibilities .

I will sometimes think that my art if horrible and that I'll never become a good artist but then this quote reminds me that I can improve as long as I'm alive with some pens and paper, my art can go places. My grades are pretty bad so I feel like I wont be able to do much when I'm older but then I remember that I am so lucky to have access to extra help whether it's from an online tutorial or a teacher. We all are gifted with the chance of being alive durring such an amazing time. We should never feel like we don't belong.

If I Had To Work In A School

If I had to work in a school for a little, I would be a kindergarten teacher. I love kids (and hate them).  I am in Leadership at ATA (American Taekwondo Association)  so I always work with kids, whether it's in the Tiny Tiger's class or a Birthday Party for one of my 'smol children' Every little kid at my TKD school is my 'smol child'. I find is very easy to work with little kids since they are so young and playful unlike moody teenagers. I also know how little kids work. I can easily find their weaknesses.

I am also VERY lazy so this would be perfect for me. Kindergartners do not take many tests or do much homework so that means less things to grade! I know the crazy kids will probably cause me a lot of stress but I can take it. I have to take care of a crazy girl named Melissa after all. I know as a fact that kids HATE nap time but I was able to keep a whole camp calm for half an hour over the summer (and these kids were VERY active).

I also adore affection and little kids LOVE their teacher. Tom's little sister always hugs me when she sees me and that's a common reaction that little kids have when they see someone who they look up to.

I am also very exciting when reading to little kids. I try to do the voices and act out the actions so I make reading very fun. That is an important thing when reading to kids. It's best to get kids into reading at a young age so they will love reading when they're older. I don't want them to be like me. I didn't like reading until I was in fourth grade.

I also want these kids to have a good childhood. My best memories are from kindergarten because my life wasn't so messed up.